Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving day, was a sweet day! I slept in late, relaxed, and got ready to hangout with Beth. I seen her at her Wedding about 8 months ago but, we haven’t got together for about an year. So, it was great! We were making everything possible to get together which we did. I met her at the Family Video, went up to her parents house, and met her huge family lol. I was soo nervous tho because, I’m really backwards toward people that I don’t know which I don’t know why but, I am. Her family was great! Than Beth wanted me to come to a bridal party that was for her and for 2 other sooned to be members of the family:) I got to see and hangout with a wonderful family. It was such an awesome day! And such a blessing too! This thanksgiving was probably my favorite this year!

Then, Saturday was my Turkey Day! My sister and her family came up and celebrate it with me and my parents and it was great! My mom fixed and awesome meal and I got to spend time with my nieces,  and then Brandi (my sister) mom, dad, Jeremy (brother-in-law) and me got together and played some cards. It was just a nice relaxing day with family. I have to say again Thanksgiving this year was awesome! I got to spend time with my friend, meet great people, make new friends, and be with family on a long Thanksgiving week:)

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving too!:)

Scary Moment.

Thursday, was one of the most scariest days in my life. My dad came home from visiting my Grandma and doing errands with her. He was really warn out because, well, my Grandma loves to keep you busy hehe. Anyways, he came home and give himself a shot of insulin before he eats his lunch because, of being a diabetic. After he was done eating and calm himself down because, he was stressed out when he was with Grandma. I mean he loves her to death but, she’s really goofy on worrying about us too much and plus, she couldn’t make up her mind about something.

Anyways, after dad got calm down he went on the computer and I went in my room to lay down because, I was having a really bad sleepy spell. Well, I was half asleep and awake at the time when I heard my sister called and she was talking to dad. And the next minute I know, I fallen asleep and my dad was calling for me I came out of my room to see what was wrong and what he needs. When I looked at him he was peal, shaking really bad were he couldn’t hold anything, and he was having really bad hot flashes. He told me to go ASAP and get him something to eat with a good source of sugar in it and bring his sugar kit thingy for him to check his blood sugar.

When he was done eating and he went to check his sugar it was R-E-A-L-L-Y low, it was down like to 56 it’s supposed to be above 200. It was really scary because, him and I were soo afraid that he was going to go in a coma and that I would have to call 911. We spent the whole half of the night trying to raise his blood sugar and make sure he doesn’t get worst and go into a sugar coma.

Thankfully, we slowly got his blood sugar up to were it needs to be and he was feeling better. Dad told me this was the worst he ever had it were he came closed to be in a sugar coma. But, thanks to the power of God’s love and strength he help us get through this rough scary moment.

That day remind me about a few years ago when my dad was rushed to the hospital were we found out he had blood clots go through his lungs. The doctor told us because, of him being over weight saved his life. But, if he was the size of a regular man he wouldn’t be here with us. That was really scary to hear.

I don’t know what I would do without my dad he means the world to me. He is one of the most strongest person I have ever met. He will keep going no matter how bad his health is, or how bad and rough life gets, or, how much he wants to give up he keeps going, he keeps going for the people that he loves and that needs him. I also just love his heart on how he is so selfless were he puts us in front of him always. He just is on my top of my list of being one of my heroes. He’s always there for me, believing in me, fighting for me, guiding me, teaching me, supporting me, protecting me, encouraging me to keep going and to follow my dreams. I am soo thankful and blessed that God have chosen this man to be my father on this broken and unbalance world that we lived in. I just have no words to describe how much he means to me and how thankful I am to have him in my life. All I can say is Thank you Lord:)

A HEART’S POEM

A HEART’S POEM…

Wash away all my fears…
Wipe away all my tears…
Let it be clear that you are near me…
I don’t have to be afraid of ever losing you…
Allow me to praise and love you until the day and the night have ended…
Touch the world and let it melt into your own gentle hands…
Making all the dark become light, the dead becomes life, and the ugly turns into beauty….
Make the old stories turn into new stories…
The lost souls into found souls…
Lives are saved…
Our love and our Grace is eternal…

In My Past. When I was a Senior in High School.

I had an older web blog I used like a few years ago on blogger.com. which I quit using it. Well, anyways, from the recent posted I made on wordpress, I thought it would be good to share this old posted I had blogged in the past because, it relates to the “Third Thought” posting. So, I thought it would be good for all of you that haven’t seen it yet before. Here it is:

Thursday, March 16 2006

Something Really Heavy On My Heart

which you know they have to follow the laws so Miss mean to them…I’m going to take this stand and speak out and I’m going to let God take full control over me and on it… I’m going to let him guide me through this…I’m going to let him do what he needs and wants to do for his children by using me to do so…But I have something really special and important to tell you all…I think you all might be touched by it…Like last week I was watching one of my tv. shows (One Tree Hill) well this episode was really intense it was about this kid getting teased and tormented everyday by everyone none stop well he brings a gun into the school he fired it but no one was hurt…He ran in the room with some students because they had a “code red” well the other students didn’t know it was him well, he was keeping quite until a boy called that student a bad name and he pulled out the gun and hold these kids hostage…Well, he told them all about his heart how it’s well really broken well that touched me because I knew exactly how he felt because well I went through it still am in some ways which I didn’t think about harming anyone but myself through thats the only differences…But anyways he said this is really bad I have to point this gun at your faces order for you all to listen…But sadly at the end he end up shooting himself… This episode truly touched my heart I was crying all through it…But after this show was over my heart was extremely heavy and it felt like God was speaking to me and telling me Andrea use this episode and yourself to reach out to others…So guess what? I listen to what my heart and the Lord had to say I went to one of my teachers (Mr. Yoder) and talk to him he advise me to go talk to this woman Miss. Beatty that is incharge of this new program that we started this year which is for bulling and I did…Both Miss Beatty and Mr. Yoder was really touched and they were really touched when I told them I want to share this and do something good with this…So I’m speaking in FCA about it and maybe next year I will come in and be a guess speaker to talk about it because well they wanted to get that clip of that eposideBeatty believes she’ll be able to get all this next year… I really want to do this I believe I need to do this because well I think this is one of my callings and also a big percentage of these shootings and suicides by teenagers is by them getting bulled…And I believe if you treat a person like a monster they soon become that monster…I believe if I shared my heart of what I experience and how much this means to me I could maybe help or save lives or even make them strongly think about it…I want to do this for God and his children that are struggling and hurting by others being sooanywas I wanted to share that…Well I’ll let you all go, I hope you all having a wonderful day and week filled with God’s blessings and love! Take care!

Andrea~

Third Thought

If I’m completely positive that STNA isn’t right for me. I know that I would like to get an Associate Degree in Early Childhood Education why? Because, I love being around kids and working with them:) They make you feel soo good. They help you forget about all the worries, fears, and stress that been holding you down. Their just such a blessing to be around.

Anyways, I would like to work with kids with disabilities because, all my school years I been in special classes because, of my learning disabilities and I know how it feels to be teased, pick on, judge, and labeled as stupid, and having people not believing in you and telling you that your nothing and that you can’t do or become anything just a waste of space.

I want to reach out to these kids and hopefully be an good example toward them and show them that they are smart and that if they set their minds on something that they want, they can get it! If they keep going, keep trying, keep fighting, keep believing, and not let anyone or anything bring them down or get in their way. That all that hard work and trying will be all worth it. I just want them to believe in their selves. Because, when I was a teacher’s aide helping in the special classes it just broke my heart seeing these kids thinking that they aren’t worth anything and that they can’t be as successful as others.

It would mean a lot to me if I become their friends and help them by encourage them to follow their dreams and become what God wants they to become. I also wish I could help prevent them from being bullied. People wonder why there’s soo many shootings in schools and also suicides from the kids. Well, the big percentage is caused by kids bullying kids. And not only kids bully other kids but, adults do it too.

My heart been pulled to this for many years and like I said I believe one of my callings is to help others. And maybe this is my calling to help the younger generations by using my past of being bullied and everything to help them fight through and follow their dreams and God’s dreams.

Second Thoughts

I’m having a lot of second thoughts and doubts about being an STNA for a while now. I know from the last posted I said thats what I want to pursued but, even then I was having doubts.

I’m starting to think I’m not going to go into this type of field I mean I believe one of my callings is to help people but, I don’t think this is the way for me to do.

I been researching and listen to stories that my sister and other people that are in this field and from listening to them and seeing that this job drains them physically and mentally. Because, of caring for the elderly they do get attach to them and they work with patients that are worse condition than others. Like not only they have bad health issues but, some of them have mental health issues too. I just don’t think I can handle the pressure of knowing someone’s life is in my hands.  I know every job has its challenges and that all jobs are stressful and they drain you. But, from sitting on the side lines and listening to those that are in this line of work you can tell this job is probably one of the worst on draining and being stressful.

Don’t get me wrong this job is also one of the most awarding jobs in the world of knowing that your making a difference in the peoples lives by being their for them, taking care of them, and just making them feel good about themselves were they feel independent. That is a blessing.

But, you need to have the right amount of compassion, patiences, and the strength of wanting to be a nurse. You also need be independent and confident were you make the right decisions on any situations that you are in.  I mean your dedicating your time to those that completely depend and trust you. I just wanted to do the best thing and the right thing for me and also for those that will be involved with my decision.

So, this been laying hard on my heart, I don’t know what to do. I been praying and hoping for the Lord’s guidance and help on me making the right decision on what I want to do and be in my life.

By the way no matter what I decide to do I am continue to go to the ABLE program to refresh myself on my learning. That program has been wonderful to me. I have been learning a lot and I’m not giving it up either:)

Anyways, I will be grateful for all of your prayers:) Thank you for listening to me! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

What I been doing in my life so far.

I hope you all don’t mind me posting a lot of my writings but, I been having a writer’s block and plus, I thought you all would enjoy reading some writings. I loved to share my heart and my relationship with the Lord with all of you. I hope it encourage you all to grow closer to Him and to feel his presence, his strength, and his love too:)

I wanted to try to post a  regular blog for a change. Let see what can I talk about? Hmm…  Oh yes, as I talked about me of wanting to get my STNA (Stated Nursing Assistant) certificate soon. See I joined RTC a place that helps those with disabilities to find a job and to get their lives started in the “Real World”. Well, before I joined them I was working at Wal-Marts in the dairy department but, they laid me off:( They were just using me for the 4th of July Holidays which I only worked there for a month. After that happen I didn’t know what to do because, I didn’t have my driver’s license (which I still don’t) because, I didn’t know if I could drive because, of my eyes sight being so bad and also because I had no money nor insurance. I was really worried I didn’t know what to do until someone told me about RTC and everything so, I thought okay sounds like a great thing to try so I did.

I been with them for the past year now and we been looking for jobs left and right but, have no luck because, of this economy being soo bad. I was actually getting ready to give up until my job coach (Abby) asked me what I think about being an nurse assistant and I was like “hmm… I’m interested in that because, I love helping people) So, she’s like that would be a good job for you since you love helping people and making them feel good. So, we talked to my case worker Kathy which she is the one that is incharged of setting things up and everything. Well, she talked with me and said that she’ll pay for my schooling and on other things for me if I’m interested in this kind of career and I said yes!. I had to tell my family about it and my sister went to my meeting with me to set it up with Kathy and everything. And that encourage my sister to look into doing the same thing too because, she loves helping people too. Although, the money will becoming out of her pocket since she’s not into the program like I am…

Anyways, my sister and I was going to take STNA classes together because, I didn’t want to take them by myself and we thought it would be great to do it together! We had to go and take this Work Key Test where you take  on the computer. It’s to test to see if your math, language arts, and reading level is right for STNA or whatever nursing you want to go into. Well, unfortunately I didn’t passed it:( I started my math test and I run out of time because, these tests are timed and so I failed it:( That day was a very disappointing day for me until, I was offered a free program called ABLE were people come to refresh their memories on their studies, or it’s for those that want to get prepared for the next Work Key Test because, they didn’t passed it the last time, or it’s for those that wanted to get their G.E.D’s.

I went for it! For giving a great opportunity to go into something free that will help you improve on your learning and everything it’s a blessing. I been going to the program everything Thursday for 4 hours for about couple months now and, I am learning a lot! And fast too. It’s awesome I really enjoy it! I also been making a lot friends there too:) And I been taking online classes too, which it’s called Key-train where they help you on your math, reading, and language arts skills for the Work Keys test too. The ABLE program teaches 1st grade through 12th grade level which, it’s nice that their doing the whole works:) Anyways, that’s what I been doing in my life besides, enjoying being an aunt, helping my folks out, and also I studying to get my driver’s license off and on. Which I found out I can drive too!:) Which is awesome to hear! Only thing is I will have strict driver license where I will not be allowed to drive in the dark. It’s fine with me lol. Anyways, there’s an update on what’s been going on in my life:) I’m sorry that I wrote a huge blog. I guess my writer’s block went away;) Well, thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great weekend!

God Is My Inspiration…

This is a writing to share with all of you on how much it means to me to write for the Lord:) It’s a beautiful thing to have a special connection with Him. I hope you enjoy!

God Is My Inspiration…

God is my inspiration. He’s the One that speaks through my heart with words of love and truth. He speaks with clarity and imagination that makes my heart have sight of seeing, of hearing and of feeling. The words He speaks through my spirit-man are beautiful, touching the deep bellows of my soul. His warm, re-assuring presence brings unspeakable joy into my life. His words are mysteries like the inspiring Parables He left behind.

Everyday, I grow closer to the One that inspires me to write. He keeps me going. He keeps me fighting and He keeps me believing in Him and in myself. I crave for more of His beautiful words of love and truth, to write poems. I love to share these poems, hoping, praying, and wanting the One that inspired me to write them, will use me to touch the lost souls that haven’t found or known Him.

I want Him to use me to get to the ones that need Him the most. The delicate one’s that need to be saved, healed, loved, encouraged, and forgiven.

I want Him to help me awaken my generation, to free their souls with His agape, unconditional love.

I want to say: ‘God Is My Inspiration’ of my heart…for His promises of love and truth are faithful words that will never die or diminish. They are inscribed upon my heart till the very end of age!

Testimony

I wanted to share my testimony with all of you:)

All my teen life I have been teased and tormented by people a little younger than me, and still unfortunately this was continuing into my adulthood. Men and women would often tease me by talking behind my back in groups; if it wasn’t my looks it wouldn’t be long before something else would be said about me. I was a easy target, a ‘soft touch’. Why? Simply, because I attended special classes due to my learning disabilities.

Biting my lip became second nature to me. My loving parents always gave me good advice, right from an early age they would tell me, “Andrea, don’t let them get to you sweetheart…don’t you rise to their bait, okay….just ignore them!!” I had learnt to tell myself (often looking at my reflection in a mirror), that I am a good person and they don’t know me and their, the one’s with a problem, not me!

One thing I did have though was Faith. Faith to always believe that things can only get better. I loved God. From an early age as often as I can remember, I would often pray in the quietness of my bedroom, that the LORD would scatter all my enemies abroad, until the LORD spoke to me through His Word.

One day after reading the Holy Bible, I came across a powerful Scripture verse which spoke to my heart, “Bless your enemies and do good to them even if they don’t do good to you!”

I must admit in all honesty that this has been hard for me for quite a number of years but, through time, patience, and a compassion for others, I’ve learnt to love all people regardless of their color or age group. I would seek my LORD’S face, ‘my very present help in times of trouble’ ; by simply praying to Him - my comforter, I felt comforted and safe.

Dear Reader, yes, I want to tell you, there were many days when I took as much as I possibly could take. I also learnt that simply ignoring the problem wouldn’t really solve the issue. You can defend yourself to a certain degree but it still won’t get rid of all the name-calling and off-cuff remarks!  The days I did give in though were very miserable for me. You, see, I started to believe their mean words they spoke about me. I began to hate myself, and everything else to do with my life-style. I hated the world, I hated my clothes, I hated my neighbors, I even hated going out shopping with my parents. I just didn’t want to be seen in public with my family and friends. It had become so bad, that some days, I just wanted to put a bag over my head when I went out anywhere. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror anymore. I cried every day and every night I would cry myself to sleep. Basically, I lost myself completely, including my relationship with God.

My loving parents didn’t know what to do with me anymore. They would often discuss amongst themselves whether or not to take me out of this special school. I also believe they contemplated moving away from the area at one point. My mom even wanted to go over to the school and beat up all the kids that were mean to me. I lost faith and belief in myself. I lost my self-esteem because they treated me like a monster from outer space. To tell you the truth I wanted to die. I thought of committing suicide every day. There were a few days when I even had a knife in my hand and was so tempted to cut my wrists. I thought by ending my life, I would just make everyone happy that was cruel to me. But, something and someone stronger than the evil words  that were being placed on my confused and troubled mind, kept repeating these words in my head,  “If, you do this Andrea, you will lose God for all eternity. Suicide, is not of ME… If you do this you will hurt the ones that love and care about you the most!!”

My friend, there is a way out of every problem we face in life today. And, I probably wouldn’t be here today to share my testimony with you, had I not let those loving words that God spoke through His precious Holy Spirit to me. By repeatively speaking them to my brain my mind-set, I began to let them sink deep, deep down, into the very bellows of my soul!!..

After my freshman year, I met many new people that were and are still so wonderful, that treated me like I was someone special. They helped me find God and myself again. I started to go to a local Youth group, and I just grew more and more closer to God and falling in love with Him and His Word. Not long after, I then discovered my unique gift of writing and expressing myself on paper. My Pastor of the church I started to attend asked me if I was saved and I told him,  ’I'm not sure, I did ask God in my heart when I was much younger to be my personal LORD and Savior’.  He felt led in his spirit-man, to repent and re-dedicate my life back to my first-love, Jesus Christ. I agreed, and, Yes, God turned my life around once more!!

After, saying a sinner’s prayer again, I was resaved and free. And, here I am today…..head-over-heels in love with my LORD Jesus Christ. I’m more in love with Him today, than I ever was and it is awesome feeling to share this with you. Remain blessed, remain loved, and remain highly favoured in His faithful name. <AMEN>

I am Blessed:)

7 years ago, I hating my life and myself. That there’s no reason to live, I’m not worth it, and life just isn’t important etc… Yeah, “I was doing a poor me” but, from being teased and being around a lot of people that were very negative in my life kind of made me that way. Until, 3 little beautiful miracles enter into my life Kiara, Trenton and Anna they completely change my life and changed me. Those thought and feelings was no more. They showed me how precious and important life truly is specially, when you have them in your life:) I just become soo in love with these 3  which you can’t help it lol. I just think it’s so awesome whenever your feeling down, hurt, struggling, or having a bad day, or just sick, and when they enter to the room and give you a great big smile and say “HI ANNIE” Those bad and sick days never exist I forget that I even had those kind of days. When I’m around them I feel in peace, free, relax, and in love. I feel the Lord presence through them. Because, they live life to the fullest! They love life and they don’t let anyone or anything ruined that for them. I have to say these 3 specially kids that enter my life aren’t just my nieces and my nephew and my friends, they are my heroes. They helped me connect with the Lord and they remind me that life is an adventure, and worth living. I’m learning a lot through them on keep fighting, keep believing, keep loving, keep going, keep growing, keep living your life for God because, that is worth everything! I have to thank you Lord for blessing me with these 3 amazing kids in my life! Your such a loving God!